P.S. Go to this link for my blog in e future.
http://al-bigredtomato.blogspot.com/
-------------------------------------------
update: received this in my inbox today ....18/06/09, 5.16pm
(read le... very sad... so.. is this exactly wat i can't think out last nite? i kept tinking.. why he can't stop contacting her since he knows what he wants.... is it really like tt?? i came home open this mail... very sad)
little ger, sit down alone and have a deep thghts over it
when u talked abt ur ex, he gave me the feelings that u are not the one he want NOW
if he really want to have commitment with u, y he cant make up his mind now
y he said leave it to fate, leave it to god
will he want to totally no contact with u? but contact with that ger? no sense at all
He will want more of u and less of her.
the answer is there for u to see just that u are now in the mist of hurt ...u cant see clearly
--------------------------------------------------------------
My new blog must be about happier things.... so this entry goes here!
Shihui called me ystd... to ask me how's me n him... and where do we go for romantic dinner....
Burst into tears toking to her. i told her. he abandoned me for a beer gal. sorry humhum... cannot ctrl la. promise fri go drink i wun like tt k! hahahaha
i kept tinking abt Black Opal... the nite i tot.. he made an effort to celebrate our 5 yr anni... did he contact her when he went home? ha ha. the nite i tot was romantic.. might { confirm(?) be stained.
All i needed was sm effort n signs of love u know? y is it so difficult?
He says he already broke up wif tt gal. Just tt the feeling is there. Time is all he need to stop contacting her, and he wants me to gif him time coz he knows who he wants. i dun understand... if u wan to stop being addicted to sth.. u STOP tking sth rite? u wan to stop smoking.. u dun smoke more till u can stop rite? u tk drugs, u dun eat more pills till u can stop rite? u wan to fgt someone, u dun meet more of someone to create more memories rite? to continue contacting means there's lingering under-current isn't it?
Wee says tt young boys succumb to temptations easily. he says... maybe it's a good time tt this happen.. so tt if this guy really treasure u, he can do some soul searching and grow up. If this guy continues to indulge in his flings, this guy is not for u. Maybe after this.. he can either love u more, or convince u to leave him more. so just live ur life as it is. and if he change for the better, u two can always patch. bt if he's not, den y are you wanting him. the more u restrict him, the more rebellious he get.
y is it so hard to get commitment? y is it so hard... to fgt someone? Y after all these... i m still praying for miracle? He said leave everything to god... but dear god... y when i prayed to u.. tt he wun sway anymore, wun lie anymore... slowly fgt her and let us be back as before..... u dun wan to help me lehx?
Brain Vs Heart. Tug of war.... When will my brain n the heart unite once more?
i wish i could sleep. pls... just let me slp. waking up n shaking at nite... feels so weak. so not me. i've nv been thru' tis stage in my entire previous years.. i need time to adjust.
Dear laopos n frenz.
thanks for ur company, hugs, smses, emails (including sm passer-by blog-readers), calls and tissues.
I know i worried alot coz i can walk walk walk n burst into tears anytime anywhere. i m making effort to control. i will get a grip o myself soon. Don't worry k? gif me sm time to grief.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Let me tell u a story.
Boy met gal. Boy wooed gal. Gal fell for his web.
They started in June 2004.
Gal has a bad tempered.. bt boy was tolerant.
Gal was childish... bt boy was patient.
Boy neglects the gal at times, gal prays for a change.
Gal keep things at heart, he tot she dun care.
Boy was in debt, gal was disappointed, but stayed on by his side.
Gal gave up her future for him, Boy change his possessiveness for her.
They thought they hv a future.. with hard work.
Den boy needs to fly overseas for his job.
Gal was losing faith bt boy gave his promise.
They decided to continue trying... towards 2015.
Boy told gal happy news that his stay could be shorten...
just to shatter her hopes within 4 mths.
Gal hopes tt boy would at least make an effort to try...
just like she did to reject her university offer overseas.
Gave him an ultimatum to break up if he can't at least make an effort.
Boy told gal to pretend nothing was discussed tt nite.
Bt boy's phone was not contactable for a wk.
Gal was getting desperate.
She finally caught him online... and out of a wk's spite chided him.
He dumped her.... for a beer gal.
Gal remained hopeful and pray tt things will change when he comes back for a visit.
They patched up... and Boy gave fake promises:
i shalt nt lie; Small decisions shd b made by u, while big decisions r made by me (break ups r small matter decided by u); i shalt be thy toyboy; i shalt dote on u more; i shalt discuss everything with u; i shalt remain honest n faithful.
Despite lies n again, gal chose to blif boy, coz Boy told Gal tt she can trust him.
Nite before he fly, gal spent the nite doing scrapbook on their love, wanting to surprise guy at airport....
Boy sms bro tt he has to settle his r/s (which gal tot was already settled)..
Gal was too shocked to bring e scrapbook full o her love to airport.
The day he flew, he said his last i love you and promise not to waver....
just to date tt beer gal out at the v next hr he arrives....
he swayed again... and request for time-off.
Gal was utterly disappointed tt her last 17 days spent to convince boy tt they hv a future was in vain.
Silly gal spent e whole nite praying for a miracle...
Prayed to his trusty God whom he says will bless us in life...
... while boy n beer gal chatted.
so much for not contacting her ever again.
so much for saying i promise.
so much for devotion. zhuan yi.
Gal wanted to wait for him to forget her.... wanted to wait for him.. to marry her.
bt Boy loves two. bt he wanted time off gal... while contacting beer gal.
love is a matter of two. how to choose btw the sun n moon?
and yet.. after all these... Gal was still praying for miracle. what a fool.
n for being a fool, in a time of folly.. she called Boy's mum.
sorry aunty, gal din't wan to cause tis upset. She needed to sort things out.
and all Boy got to offer... by doing this wun make me change my decision.
Gal din't do it out of revenge... bt out of grievance.
Maybe there were a lot of wrong steps taken during the past few years...
bt they hv nv lose their footsteps...
Gal had complete faith and put in 98% into mending the rocky edges
but guy... changed path even when she paved the way.
Time is all he need..... bt gal had no patience and too much fear...
all out of love.
okiez. story telling finished. Dramatic 17 days summary.
yeah!
New bloggy: http://al-bigredtomato.blogspot.com/
I know now abit cheena.. i m still fixing tt prob. anyway nth much to blog... the photos of the past 17 days are just false hopes and fake visages tt we were loving while his heart was wif Beer Gal.
Boy met gal. Boy wooed gal. Gal fell for his web.
They started in June 2004.
Gal has a bad tempered.. bt boy was tolerant.
Gal was childish... bt boy was patient.
Boy neglects the gal at times, gal prays for a change.
Gal keep things at heart, he tot she dun care.
Boy was in debt, gal was disappointed, but stayed on by his side.
Gal gave up her future for him, Boy change his possessiveness for her.
They thought they hv a future.. with hard work.
Den boy needs to fly overseas for his job.
Gal was losing faith bt boy gave his promise.
They decided to continue trying... towards 2015.
Boy told gal happy news that his stay could be shorten...
just to shatter her hopes within 4 mths.
Gal hopes tt boy would at least make an effort to try...
just like she did to reject her university offer overseas.
Gave him an ultimatum to break up if he can't at least make an effort.
Boy told gal to pretend nothing was discussed tt nite.
Bt boy's phone was not contactable for a wk.
Gal was getting desperate.
She finally caught him online... and out of a wk's spite chided him.
He dumped her.... for a beer gal.
Gal remained hopeful and pray tt things will change when he comes back for a visit.
They patched up... and Boy gave fake promises:
i shalt nt lie; Small decisions shd b made by u, while big decisions r made by me (break ups r small matter decided by u); i shalt be thy toyboy; i shalt dote on u more; i shalt discuss everything with u; i shalt remain honest n faithful.
Despite lies n again, gal chose to blif boy, coz Boy told Gal tt she can trust him.
Nite before he fly, gal spent the nite doing scrapbook on their love, wanting to surprise guy at airport....
Boy sms bro tt he has to settle his r/s (which gal tot was already settled)..
Gal was too shocked to bring e scrapbook full o her love to airport.
The day he flew, he said his last i love you and promise not to waver....
just to date tt beer gal out at the v next hr he arrives....
he swayed again... and request for time-off.
Gal was utterly disappointed tt her last 17 days spent to convince boy tt they hv a future was in vain.
Silly gal spent e whole nite praying for a miracle...
Prayed to his trusty God whom he says will bless us in life...
... while boy n beer gal chatted.
so much for not contacting her ever again.
so much for saying i promise.
so much for devotion. zhuan yi.
Gal wanted to wait for him to forget her.... wanted to wait for him.. to marry her.
bt Boy loves two. bt he wanted time off gal... while contacting beer gal.
love is a matter of two. how to choose btw the sun n moon?
and yet.. after all these... Gal was still praying for miracle. what a fool.
n for being a fool, in a time of folly.. she called Boy's mum.
sorry aunty, gal din't wan to cause tis upset. She needed to sort things out.
and all Boy got to offer... by doing this wun make me change my decision.
Gal din't do it out of revenge... bt out of grievance.
Maybe there were a lot of wrong steps taken during the past few years...
bt they hv nv lose their footsteps...
Gal had complete faith and put in 98% into mending the rocky edges
but guy... changed path even when she paved the way.
Time is all he need..... bt gal had no patience and too much fear...
all out of love.
okiez. story telling finished. Dramatic 17 days summary.
yeah!
New bloggy: http://al-bigredtomato.blogspot.com/
I know now abit cheena.. i m still fixing tt prob. anyway nth much to blog... the photos of the past 17 days are just false hopes and fake visages tt we were loving while his heart was wif Beer Gal.
Tuesday, June 02, 2009
hey peeps...
just a short update. patched(?) with him. BUT. i feel like i m stepping on thin ice-bergs. tink too much? or too hopeful?
i know some say i m dumb. BUT. love makes ppl dumb at times isn't it? i know wat i want and i wan to fight for wat i wan. worth it or not.. is how much i value this r/s and how bad i want it back. it's those who nv try who live in regrets. RITE? bang wall nvm. i tried. yesh. this is absolute term. den again, provided.. we r still walking along e same track. lag behind.. i can wait. lost...? try to find n lead him back. strayed...? LLST n start hating.
i can't erase the past. bt i wan to work on the future.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Parents brought me for breakfast on Sunday.. hahahha... thanks huh~~~ they knew i was moody these days.. they had enough sense not to ask me wat happened! ^o^
and pui! today's HDB fruits day! kanna arrowed to be orange gal... NVM~ betrayed by fren! say wat tk photo for FUN! in e end... this photo n another one was used as thank you note circulated ard the ENTIRE PLD... _|_ urgh~
nah nah nah~ laugh la.. Van says i look like golden retriever! wail~ and i polled a survey for my TOs (men btw 26 - 58) today... and all of them said i looked worse! My laoban n seniors say i look like ah lian.. WAIL~ and Ethan even said... sometimes.. colours tt are nice.. might nt suit the person's skin tone.. _|_ NEED TO SO HONEST OR NOT! i tot men are supposed to b discreet with their words? _|_
BUT! on e other hand.. windfall again! i love stat board. Bet laopo n js r so jealous we r gg Batam for less than $10! ho ho ho ho~~~~~~~~~~
Received two weddings invitations in one day! yes~ two! shook like an idiot alone in my workstation after the second one.
was in e office reading old junk mails today... the one on everyone has 80% needs and 20% wants.. Come to think of it.. only JC Lee so engx send one la! _|_
distracted by the 20% desire... of what ur partner is not. the need to be recognised n admired.
According to surveys.. everyone acknowledged tt none of their partners are 100%. Sm ppl spend a lifetime looking for the perfect one.. only to realise there's always yet another better one outside. Some, however, choose to treasure the person by their side.. to mould a dream home and build it together.
Took a quiz in facebook.. even Edwin tinks it's super true.. hahaha
You're the type of person who is very kind and loyal to their friends. However, you're sorta shy about expressing your true self and feelings. But, if you truly believe in something, you'll go for it, and stick with it till the end!
is being too 死心眼 really a bad thing? haix...
Definition of distraction... that which distracts, divides the attention, or prevents concentration
AKA: the focus is still on the original subject.
haix... i wish i could still tag him as my property.
Definition of change of heart... heart that is substituted for another
AKA: the focus is on the new subject.
not say i m the most faithful person on earth. distracted can be a mental thingy.. it can also be a moment of betrayal. I'd my fair share of self-doubt n distractions, bt i'd nv wavered in my blif.
Shakespeare.. well said. A course of true love never runs smooth.
okiez.. back to happier tone.. my ultra kawaii bedsheet~~~~~ ^o^
Angel.. u can try looking for ur chouchou's potential wife admist my soft toy family.. hahahha
new kiap kiap fr site!
AND! I m gg to do sth to my hair! WAIL~~~~~~~~~~~
and pui! today's HDB fruits day! kanna arrowed to be orange gal... NVM~ betrayed by fren! say wat tk photo for FUN! in e end... this photo n another one was used as thank you note circulated ard the ENTIRE PLD... _|_ urgh~
nah nah nah~ laugh la.. Van says i look like golden retriever! wail~ and i polled a survey for my TOs (men btw 26 - 58) today... and all of them said i looked worse! My laoban n seniors say i look like ah lian.. WAIL~ and Ethan even said... sometimes.. colours tt are nice.. might nt suit the person's skin tone.. _|_ NEED TO SO HONEST OR NOT! i tot men are supposed to b discreet with their words? _|_
BUT! on e other hand.. windfall again! i love stat board. Bet laopo n js r so jealous we r gg Batam for less than $10! ho ho ho ho~~~~~~~~~~
Received two weddings invitations in one day! yes~ two! shook like an idiot alone in my workstation after the second one.
was in e office reading old junk mails today... the one on everyone has 80% needs and 20% wants.. Come to think of it.. only JC Lee so engx send one la! _|_
distracted by the 20% desire... of what ur partner is not. the need to be recognised n admired.
According to surveys.. everyone acknowledged tt none of their partners are 100%. Sm ppl spend a lifetime looking for the perfect one.. only to realise there's always yet another better one outside. Some, however, choose to treasure the person by their side.. to mould a dream home and build it together.
Took a quiz in facebook.. even Edwin tinks it's super true.. hahaha
You're the type of person who is very kind and loyal to their friends. However, you're sorta shy about expressing your true self and feelings. But, if you truly believe in something, you'll go for it, and stick with it till the end!
is being too 死心眼 really a bad thing? haix...
Definition of distraction... that which distracts, divides the attention, or prevents concentration
AKA: the focus is still on the original subject.
haix... i wish i could still tag him as my property.
Definition of change of heart... heart that is substituted for another
AKA: the focus is on the new subject.
not say i m the most faithful person on earth. distracted can be a mental thingy.. it can also be a moment of betrayal. I'd my fair share of self-doubt n distractions, bt i'd nv wavered in my blif.
Shakespeare.. well said. A course of true love never runs smooth.
okiez.. back to happier tone.. my ultra kawaii bedsheet~~~~~ ^o^
Angel.. u can try looking for ur chouchou's potential wife admist my soft toy family.. hahahha
new kiap kiap fr site!
AND! I m gg to do sth to my hair! WAIL~~~~~~~~~~~
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Listening to this song n blending into THE mood....
sorry my blog recently went into a emo mode!
On a lighter note, Our newsletter team is making major change in publicity! Anyway.. not disclosing till everything is finalised! Went for data collection with our intern the other day... Do you know.. even at HDB shops.. we hv super Atas shops? like the wine n cheese restaurant we went! since he's an intern.. i bullied him into taking pics for me! wahahahhaahha~ being OLD is great at times like this!
my life?
Just dyed my hair. even my parents says i m ugly! >_<
Did sth really bad at work on Thurs. *mouth zip*
Sent warning letter to director's fren. -_-""
Forced to scold an admin... i really cannot sia. faintx. so seniors n laoban all *&@$%#* me...
so yeah! presenting:
a dumped woman. prisoner to be. jobless wannabe. tigress in making. an ugly one too.
G.R.E.A.T. ^o^
sidenote: Kaili says prisoner-to-be sounds cool. Don't u just love my laopo?
------------------------------
"do you want to go out? just u n me. not just today, bt everyday in coming?"
"sorry.. to me, u are a float till my ship returns."
haix....... life is so complicated n frustrating at times..
if only...
sorry my blog recently went into a emo mode!
On a lighter note, Our newsletter team is making major change in publicity! Anyway.. not disclosing till everything is finalised! Went for data collection with our intern the other day... Do you know.. even at HDB shops.. we hv super Atas shops? like the wine n cheese restaurant we went! since he's an intern.. i bullied him into taking pics for me! wahahahhaahha~ being OLD is great at times like this!
my life?
Just dyed my hair. even my parents says i m ugly! >_<
Did sth really bad at work on Thurs. *mouth zip*
Sent warning letter to director's fren. -_-""
Forced to scold an admin... i really cannot sia. faintx. so seniors n laoban all *&@$%#* me...
so yeah! presenting:
a dumped woman. prisoner to be. jobless wannabe. tigress in making. an ugly one too.
G.R.E.A.T. ^o^
sidenote: Kaili says prisoner-to-be sounds cool. Don't u just love my laopo?
------------------------------
"do you want to go out? just u n me. not just today, bt everyday in coming?"
"sorry.. to me, u are a float till my ship returns."
haix....... life is so complicated n frustrating at times..
if only...
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