stresssssssssed out!!!

i have been soooooooo stressed out these days.. i lose all my strengths and energy... i stopped going out.. rejected many offers to chill out wif frenz and all... i lose ALL KIND of enthusiasm! i hate and blame myself everytime i go out. i would be there tinking wat i could hv done wif the lost hours... was trying to do up my resume ystd.. i was tinking.. wat do i hv tt makes me competitive when a 3rd class honours seem to b beyond reach? ECK! wat had i been doing for the past few years! i had been wasting my life away isn't it??? gone were my youths n money.... tinking of all these.. i feel so regretful~ it's guilt and panicky-pre-exam stress tt makes me extremely irregular these days...

i am also stressed out by the upcoming Jap tests! i can't afford to fail coz i dun wan to pay more.... $240+ per 8 lesson seems to flow like water.... and there r so much verbs, vocabs and forms to learn!!! and tmr is one of the test!!!

so much of revision YET to be done... i m not even as half prepared as last year... by this time last year.. i m done wif my econs revision n onto psychology already... nw i hv yet to really start on anything... doing one MSM maths question takes me one whole bloody day...... why can't i understand those just-so-obvious equations tt many kn at their finger tips? matrixes, differentiations, integrations, probabilities.... shdn't i hv learn them in sec sch n year 1? how come i can't do anything?????

of coz i m not as idiotic as some stupid empty vessels at lectures who just love not listening in class and spout out nonsense just to delay time for the class to end.

****************************************************************************
toking abt it.. there were tis grp of malaysian retards in my ICP-UOL lecture today... (i STRESS i hv nth against malaysians.. they just HAPPENED to b one grp of malaysian!)

Retard 1: hofste- da! (hofstede btw)
Retard 2: ya ya.. tell the lecturer! this topic this topic!
(at the mean time.. the lecturer was asking abt wat can companies offer the state)
Retard 1: infrastructure!!!!!
Lecturer: (looking confused) errmm, how can companies offer good infrastructure to the state?
Retard 1: huh? companies to state ar... not state to company? oh oh.... (silent coz obviously it's way beyond his tiny knowledge)

so the lecturer continued his explanation... and out of nowhere...
Retard 1: STRATEGY!!! (even louder tis time)
Lecturer: ok, strategy... care to expand abit more on this?
Retard 1: ehx ehx... transnational strategy!
Retard 2: wa! (as if it WAS an answer!!)
Lecturer: ok, anyone care to expand?

Retard 1 and 234 sniggers by themselves like smart alec!
********************************************************************

honestly! it's ppl like them tt ALWAYS coz lesson to end late! i mean.. if u are gg to be some noisy vessels, MAKE SURE U ARE A BRAINY one lahx! i din't come to sch on a bloody sunday to listen to broken english and lousy incoherent answers! RETARDS!! it's ppl like them who make me sometimes complacent coz i kn more than them.. and yet.. i kn, i m half bucket of water in e first place!!!

spree items came


the Orly cuticle complex reminded me of chemistry experiments....


my current number one favourite.. soft ice creams fr Pepper lunch... this one is in green tea favour....


at this point i muz really thank jiawen these days for fetching me off school almost everyday tis wk.. trying to compensate for some of the lost time we've lost fr the 2 wk break up. actually even if time reverse, i wud hv initiated a break up at tt time coz it really make us treasure each other more. the breaking point at tt was tking each other presence for granted, although harsh words were hauled at tt time... i hope all those were (as he said) said at time of fury and was nth of truth. ometimes self-deception seems to b an easier way out. bt so far so good... he had been treating me much beta than before.

Mega-bites offer bentos on Sunday.... for $4.. if u are lazy to walk to ngee ang.. go here buy. not v worth.. bt convenient.. BUT BUT BUT BUT BUT... the queue for payment is so bloody long lahx!


mentally tired. i wish all these will end soon. i hate being so moody and spreading tis mood out. bt it's so hard to giggle wif frenz......... and feel like shit inside... fuck! how to understand ALL the managerial econs stuffs and MSM...... i feel so helpless......